“What’s Your Story?” is a guest post feature on BCBA’s blog. Indie/Self-Published authors are invited to write about their books, writing journey, creative process, inspiration, rewards and challenges of publishing, etc. They can go in whatever direction they choose. We are excited and grateful for their willingness to share, and we hope you enjoy Gina J. Lewis’s story. Go here for more WYS? Posts
Everyone has a story to tell. Every person of color in this country is molded by specific sets of extenuating circumstances. Some of these circumstances, unfortunately, are relatable traumas. I hope to illustrate a world for others who have been polished from the same life events as I have been and to help them to feel welcomed and seen.
I wish I had known when I was a shy, insecure teen just how not unique I am. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe we all have our own unique thoughts and interpretations of the world around us. What I mean when I say I am not unique is just that I am one of the many young black girls who loved musical theater and watching the charm and grace of 1950s Hollywood on tv. I am one of many black girls who raced home after school to catch the latest episodes of my favorite tv shows during the week and woke up extra early every Saturday morning for my favorite cartoons. I am one of many young black girls who was usually the only person of color in her classes and extracurricular activities. I was constantly comparing my body, my intelligence, and my value to my peers who did not look like me nor share my same socio-economic status most of the time. I was called “oreo” by both black and white peers alike, just as other African American girls and boys of my generation had been. I was not black enough because I spoke properly and was not familiar with the music videos kids watched on MTV, a channel we did not have. I was not white because of the obvious physical reasons. I did not know the slang kids spoke. I was from a sheltered, Christian home and did not know how to relate to most kids around me. I wanted so badly to see myself in the movies I watched growing up. I longed to easily place myself among the characters, in a leading role, in the fantasy books I read and got lost in. My parents did the best they could to find books and dolls who looked like me but to be honest…they still didn’t. Most black dolls I had had a very dark complexion with black but silky straight hair. Nothing matched the caramel skin or brown curls I saw every time I looked in the mirror.
To compensate, I strived to do as well as I could in all my chosen extracurricular activities. I sang in the choir and got a vocal coach to compete in competitions. I studied dance so that I could audition for lead roles in musical theater performances in my community. Drawing was my source of escape from the politics and missed opportunities of everything I was involved in. I used art to cope with my extenuating circumstances throughout life, and it is still my therapeutic companion now. Creating is what keeps my grasp on my sanity during these “unprecedented times” of the coronavirus pandemic and social distancing.
I create from my pain. I present the duality of my traumas and my hopes in my stories. I hope that other youths who have stories similar to mine see themselves and know the comforts of not being unique. Black people are so diverse. We come in all shades, and even the curls on our heads vary from one family to another. Representation matters. All our stories matter. I write for everyone with a story like mine. My story is not a unique one, but I take comfort in that. It is one of unapologetically finding oneself and accepting and loving oneself. I hope others find strength in seeing someone like them take the lead in all the stories I share.
When I See You Again | August 3, 2020 | PB | 27 Pages
Gina J. Lewis is an author and illustrator based in Memphis, Tennessee. Her 2020 social quarantine has been spent at home with her husband, Jason, entertaining and constantly feeding their two young, mischievous sons, and caring for their infant daughter. Lewis wrote When I See You Again to help her four-year-old son deal with the abnormalities and isolation due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Connect with Gina J. Lewis: Website | Instagram
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